age concern

I'm not feeling my age, I'm feeling someone else's; and she's a 60 year old woman.

This is a bit of a concern as I'm only 41.

It's been an emotional three years; soaring highs and devastating lows thrown together with the everyday stresses and uncertainties of life.  I've lost and found my whole world simultaneously.  I didn't know it was possible to feel such conflicting emotions at the same time; I've overloaded and shut down in some areas in hope of a reboot at a later date.  But it's not that simple is it, there are some things you can't recover.

I've been through a bit of a physical meltdown too.  Shingles wounded me in the summer of 2007 and I still feel the scars on my stamina to this day, my social diary bearing testimony to this.  Grief is a sucker punch, the sheer physicality of it.  & I'm fast approaching the ideal weight of a sumo wrestler; great if you aspire in that direction, not so hot if you're only ambition has become getting up off the sofa at the first attempt, without groaning and a helping hand from the hubbie!

So what's an elderly gal to do to reclaim her middle age (I'm not so naive as to think I can get my youth back!)?!

I know that I need to stop eating and start moving - release those endorphins!  I've a cracking bike in the garage that I bought last summer and have maybe ridden twice so I'm dusting that down tomorrow and cycling to Walton (9 miles round trip) for a cuppa, hopefully CV has lots to tell me as I can't promise I'll have any breath left for conversation.  & spare a thought for the motorists who are gonna have my huge backside staring back at them for miles and miles as they haven't the bottle to try and overtake such a wide load!

My culture intake has been sadly lacking, mainly because funds are too; so cheap fixes are needed.  I'm trying to break the monotony and boredom of my commute (around 3 hours a day) by getting back into reading and it's working.  I've just finished The Help by Kathryn Stockett and what a fabulous book, review to follow but suffice to say it's a corker!  I've found myself actually looking forward to getting on a train and come close to missing my stop a couple of times I've been so engrossed.  It's such an inspirational story and has really given me a kick up the backside to make things happen for myself.

Maybe acknowledging that there's a problem is the most important step.  & if that's the case then watch out, I'm on the up!

p

'til tomorrow (or maybe the day after, or even the day after that ... who needs deadlines!)